Watch your mouth

Watch your mouth

This is some bull ****

Sometimes I feel that creating a safe space for others inevitably chips away pieces of myself.

One day I sat at my desk of a shared two-person office reading an email. Long story short, the email I received was infuriating. I said “What… The… F….”

Almost instantaneously, the employee on the other side of the room blurted, “Why are you cursing?!?”

Frankly, I ignored the co-worker because I was irritated by the email. I swiftly moved on and the issue was not discussed further.

On my way to a counseling session later that day, I thought about the earlier interaction.  I recalled the disapproving tone of the employee’s voice when they questioned my choice of words. Coincidently, this instance was not the first time she questioned my native tongue.

I decided to stop cursing to make the climate a decent place to work, buuuuutttt it sucks because I am confined to a closed office. I feel as if I must hold a piece of myself back just to make my co-worker comfortable.

I want to be able to say ‘****** ******!’

I want to be able to say ‘OH Heeeeeeeeeeeeell NO.’

I want to be able to say ‘What the ****’ when I really need to.

More importantly, I want to create an environment where others can express their thoughts. I want them to be able to yell explicit content without feeling judged. I’m not sure where the compromise or balance may be, but that’s a space I want to create.

Granted, people can’t go yelling ‘Bomb’ in crowed spaces. You can miss me with the sexual passes and innuendos, I have a good man. Insults and hateful words are just plain rude. Professional help should be sought if someone makes a threat to others or themselves.

Unspeakable words and conversations aside, experience and social environments ultimately determine the appropriate choice of words to use around people in various circumstances. It still sucks because swearing is an imperfect characteristic that I choose to endorse. There is nothing like having the freedom to curse at an inanimate object when you have the urge.